Day 2. 19.08.10: Monsters

Yesterday, I had another dream. I was traveling with my daughter. And in my absent mindedness, I left her alone outside the immigration office as I went in to sort out our visa. Urgh. It ended well though. I found her safe.  I was worried she would walk away with people who were friendly with her, there are just so many pervs out there. But there she stood, guarding our luggage, waiting for me and not letting anyone touch or talk to her.I guess, my dreams are telling me that I give her far less credit then she actually deserves…hang on, she’s only two for goodness sake!

This afternoon, we got some chalks and drew this. My monsters. Monsters that I need to confront to move on. She drew the whiskers on the middle monster. No kidding, she did. I only outlined it more so it stands out better.

Day #1. 18.09.10 : Nightmares

I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?
John Lennon

Last night, I had a nightmare, one of my good friend was in trouble, lost rather. Sometimes, I think its a real connection, perhaps he was reaching out to me or anyone who’s listening. He was in a little town, so was I. But he was there first and his soul seemed to be a couple of steps behind him. I guess that’s why I felt he was lost. He was my guide in that town since he was there first. He knew places to eat, even get a hair cut. But still, I ‘felt’ he was lost. Its amazing these dreams, the emotions are so clear and strong, it feels like you’re wearing your emotions like a t-shirt. It felt like ages that dream. I woke up and rushed to my daughter’s room to check on her. Mummy’s paranoia I guess. She’s fine but I was left confused by the dream. And yes, I checked that that  friend of mine was fine after all. Maybe its me, maybe its a mirror and I’m the one who is lost, empty because perhaps it is my soul that’s trudging behind my me…or maybe he doesn’t know it yet…that he is lost…?

Musings for 365 days!

Yes. I am joining the band wagon, blogging as much or little as necessary. Mainly its to challenge myself to a discipline, a routine …lets see how I can cope with this!

I am free

It has been along long time since i wrote my thoughts down. i should try to do this more often, it gives me the serenity that i need to think about what i need to do next. i am free. well, today, I am free. free from what? its something that i won’t reveal quite yet in this journal eventhough the chances of this being read i rather slim. but i am free.

Life has certainly changed

I received my new lens today after eagerly waiting for it for 4 days. And what are the first few photos I took with it? My lilB. Its amazing how life changes when you have a lilte one. And I’m saying this with a smile cos before this, I would stomp my feet and say ‘never!’ but hey, i love her so much, its impossible not to smile

Picking up in-laws

Well count down to in-laws, 30minutes. Will soon leave for the airport to pick them up and then…? >_<

I bought a Zoobie! online

I can’t help it if I want my lil’B to have my favorite animal to cuddle at  night…check this outhttp://www.tinytapir.com/category.php. I got the elephant and got her name embrodered on it. Shopping online seems to be the thing to do nowadays, well at least for me. I’ve been window shopping online in the comfort of my living room with my lil’B bumping into every furniture in the house. Its on the way to my house, hopefully in by next week and maybe I’ll have her zoobie first before she does…

My favorite animal in the whole world

Need my lens, need my lens, need my lens

Well, a little bit of spare cash (little, very very little) I thought I’d like to spend it on myself. Now this may come as a shock, that being a girl and all, but I DON’T spend a lot on my self, nope, no hand bags, no Imelda Maros shoe collection, no branded stuff, just plain ole’ me. But today, i am buying something for myself, a lens

Fighting sleep

It gets a little worrying when the Discovery doco testerday on Babies noted that not having enough sleep impairs brain development. The little worm fights sleep all the time that its impossible to put her to bed if she’s not tored enough and by that I mean really really tired. And I’m not suppose to tire her out becuse she could get over tired and not want to sleep at all! That’s conflicting! This morning, she finally slept for her morning nap after about 30 minutes of fighting. And last night, she slept only at 1130pm only to wake up at 1230 am and cried cried cried. Dr Ferber! help! Guess I’m hitting the books again. Ferber’s book on sleep is pretty good actually, if you can take the text on book. I’m a really visual person, I read a book not by letters by but recognising patterns …so this is really tough, still got more to read!

Hi, I guess I owe you an explaination

It has been ages hasn’t it?

Since then I have been seriously considering to become what I told myself I would not be…a stay at home mom!!! Yes, and you know, I barely remember why not!